Scotch Eggs? Okay.

Exhibit A.  the scotch egg.

Throughout the UK, one can commonly find run-of-the-mill Scotch Eggs cling-filmed in supermarkets, convenience stores, and motorway service stations: a hard-boiled egg surrounded by sausage, rolled in bread crumbs, and deep-fried.  Then slapped in the cool box for a couple months, until those limey blokes waddle along and decide to start muggin’ up.  Bluuuurgh.

  Variations also abound.  A plethora of supermarket brands over there across the pond feature a chopped egg center combined with mayo or bacon.  In Manchester they use a pickled egg and throw in some black pudding, which is some seriously ridiculous pudding (look it up).  Some US “pubs” dip them in ranch.  In case you didn’t know, you can ruin a TURD by dipping it in ranch.  The occasional state fair might serve them on a stick, which is handy and extra fun.  This silly snack nugget has even found it’s way to multiple fast-food chains in Africa.  Yep, Africa has fast-food chains.  

  Well, despite all that could go wrong with such a concoction, we found this classic British picnic fare to have some major potential.  MAJOR.

I beleive the conversation went something like this....

Ritter: Balls?!

Amanda: BALLS!!

Mike B: Balls.

Aiko: ruff!

Fried sausage-y balls?!?! A resounding Yes please!!! 
...But hold the coagulated blood, thanks.

  

We went for a relatively simple equation:

INGREDIENTS

6 hard-boiled eggs, peeled (blanching in cold water after boiling eases the peeling! And it will smell like dog farts in your kitchen for an hour or so)

3/4-1 lb sweet Italian sausage (yeah! pork fat!), or your preferred ground meat mixture

3/4 cup dry bread crumbs, seasoned as you like

heavy saucepan with about 3 inches of peanut or canola oil for frying

 (but we plopped them in the Fry Daddy; love that thing)

some sauces you like, for dipping

METHOD

  Heat your oil on the cooker to about 360 degrees, give or take a few.  If you don’t have a frying thermometer, drop a 1” cube of bread in there, and if it browns nicely in about a minute, you’ve got yourself about 365.  Don’t be afraid to estimate a little.  The shit will still get fried.  A little hotter is better than a little too cool.  But if you’re lucky like some of us, you can have both.

sausage baby

  Divide the sausage into 6 portions.  Take each glob and flatten it like a burger, about 1/4-3/8 inch thick.  Just slap it out into a niiice thin round of meat. Not too thick now, y’hear??? Too much sausage means the outer breading will burn and you'll still have raw pork fat.        

  
Now wrap it around those little bollocks.  Roll them in the bread crumbs, good ‘n crumby.  Really pack those crumbs on there.  It’s imperative for a deliciously crispy coating!

  

cradle and crumb-coat

Fry 2 eggs at a time, but no more, for about 1 1/2-2 minutes.  Keep an eye on the outside.  It should brown up pretty quick.  If you do more simultaneously, the oil temp could drop too drastically and you could have greasy-sponge no-good crap balls instead of nice crispy buddies.  Don’t waste yer pork fat! 

  Drain and serve halved or quartered alongside you favorite saucy bits.  But no ranch allowed, wally.

  
TASTING NOTES

HP=A1, more or less

What do you think it tasted like???  Deep-fried sausage-covered eggs.  And with the pairing of HP sauce and some decent brown mustard, we hit this one basically way out of the park.  If you're unfamiliar with HP, it's fancy British A1.  Thanks, the UK.  


We reveled in a miniature pig-out session spent hovering over the greasy countertop just praying for a reason to stop wolfing them down.  But honestly, one is enough.  Oh, gut rot.  Oooooh bloat.